Love and Relationships - Playing by 'The rules'

What am I getting out of this? How do you treat me? How much attention do you give me? How do you make me feel? How do you feel about me? 

For most relationships today are a perpetual cycle of trying to decipher the interest or commitment level of the other person and attempting to match it or come in slightly below it to be in a position of advantage.

No one wants to be in the position where they appear to give more of themselves than the other person, they don't want to be seen to care more, to be more interested, to love more; Why? Because this with logical reason has been painted as a position of vulnerability and no one wants to be vulnerable. 

So to avoid vulnerability people start playing games with one another. There are countless quotes, self help books, memes etc. that advocate "Playing hard to get" and treating people the way they treat you, masking the extent of your interest in the hope of having the upper hand. Protecting yourself so you don't get hurt. Playing by "the rules" that the world has laid out.   

"I won't be the one to text first... again!" 

"She wouldn't do it for me so why should I?"

"Why should I be the one to make all the effort?"

"If you don't call me I won't call you."

These apparent defense mechanisms seem to be wise but in reality they are the mindset of the world. As children of God we play by a different set of rules. We cannot interact with one another the way the people of the world do and then expect to have God results in our relationships - it will NOT work. 

The truth is, we have been called to walk in love with one another and this does not change because you are romantically interested in someone - God still has the same expectation of you. 

This is 'the rule' that God has given us for successful relationships of any nature - Walk in Love. 

 

Walking in love means that you don't stop to calculate and consider your own interests before acting in love towards them. It is loving without expectation, it is loving without selfish concern, it is to act without condition and keep on loving irrespective of what they may or may not do in response. 

  

"No one has seen God at any time. But if we love one another [with unselfish concern], God abides in us, and His love [the love that is His essence abides in us and] is completed and perfected in us" 1 John 4:12 AMP 

But loving without expectation or consideration of how they feel about me - isn't that a sure way of getting hurt? 

No, not if you are walking in Love - real love, God's kind of love - Agape. Why? Because that love had a foundation beyond your own benefit. If your love is based on what you stand to gain - the love that you will get in return, the relationship that will blossom, the big house and 3 kids that you've already envisaged in your head lol, if it happens to not turn out that way you will feel disappointed, you will feel as if your investment was unappreciated or wasted on someone that didn't return it. You will surely be hurt. However, if you were walking in love, you will not feel that same sense of loss. you will be at peace knowing that you were acting because of who you are and someone elses actions or inaction has no bearing on that. 

 

But should I keep loving someone that doesn't reciprocate?

 

"We love, because He first loved us" 1 John 4:19 if you take a look at this scripture in context you will see that your love for another is reciprocation of God's love for you. The love you demonstrate to your brother or sister has already gone full circle. It is not waiting for reciprocation it is the reciprocation of love that has already been given.

When you make the decision to walk in love with everyone (No exceptions) it will put you at liberty to do anything for anyone, to extend love, care, attention, assistance without the burden of expectation of it being  reciprocated. You will experience so much more liberty and joy in your relationships. You will be in a position to love extravagantly and unabandonly, without holding back - just like the father.  

 When you are trying to calculate someone’s response before acting, this act of self preservation is a product of fear and not of love and love and fear cannot coexist. You cannot be trying to protect your own interests and love at the same time. Love is not self seeking.

Friendly Disclaimer :)

Now I am not advocating continuing to pursue someone who has made it clear to you that they are not interested, but if that does happen, don't be bitter about it, don't feel like you wasted your time or your efforts. You never lose by loving, any expression of genuine love to another is always enriching for your own Spirit and testifies of your oneness with the father, it is an outward expression of that which the Holy Ghost has deposited in you. What you need to do is move on gracefully.

Move on gracefully - what does that mean? 

 

Take the next step in your life moving without contempt, with a genuine and heartfelt desire for the person's progress and well being - this is love. Pray for them that they walk in God's perfect will for their life - whatever that may be, whether it includes you or not.  

In all what I am saying is, in all your relationships whatever their nature may be, love selflessly and unconditionally. Don't allow the world to tell you how to maintain your relationships, don't play games, be guided by God's example - He loved and gave His best for people who not only didn't appreciate His love but did the very things that he despised. Love without fear - love without bounds, love because you are a product of the worlds greatest love.   

I Love you! 

Esther Miracle 

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails 1 Corinthians 13 4-7

Choose to be humble

 

When you find yourself in a situation where you are tempted to respond in pride, stop for a moment and recognize that this is in fact an opportunity for promotion. If you choose to exercise humility and lay aside pride you will see promotion, However, if you respond in pride this will keep you in your current state and prevent you from making progress in that line.
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Pride's purpose is to produce stagnancy in your life whereas humility is the catalyst for promotion. You may be tempted by pride but see it as an invitation for promotion if only you will respond rightly.

For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted. Matthew 23:12

For promotion cometh neither from the east, nor from the west, nor from the south. But God is the judge: he putteth down one, and setteth up another. Psalm 75:6-7

Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up in honor. James 4:10

God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble James 4:6

He sees, He knows, He cares, He is enough.

Take heart.. rest in him.. his love and care for you is beyond human understanding.. Sleep well tonight.. Lay it down before him and go to sleep.. tomorrow is a new day and his mercies are new every morning. You're gonna be alright..

Love always 

Esther Miracle

Is enough finally enough?

 

Now will you finally decide that enough is enough? Let the pain push you into decisive action. Yes you may be here today but it doesn't mean you must be here tomorrow. You can decide to do things differently, you can begin again. Until you are uncomfortable with your today you may not have the motivation to create a better tomorrow, be content with where you are but always decide to move forward, make up your mind to continually make progress.. never be settled in stagnation.
 

Why do I write?

Writing for me is a very important part of my fellowship with the Holy Ghost.. as he speaks to my heart I write and as I write he floods my mind with thought after thought..I'm inspired encouraged and uplifted every time I write.

As days go by and things happen it's as if my heart becomes full, full of information, full of emotion, full of inspiration and I have this undeniable need for an outlet to release what's within and as he speaks to me and I write and share with you, there is a release in my Spirit.. there is a beautiful peace that it brings but until I release it, it sits with me on my chest because it has to come out, I have to share because many times what the Lord says to me is not for me alone in fact at times, the Holy Ghost will begin to speak to me about a specific person or group of people and give me something to write for them and it's uncomfortable to keep it here with me because there is someone out there that needs it.

For me writing is extremely therapeutic, It's an outlet of expression like no other, God speaks to and through me in a special way when I write and it has such an important place in our relationship.

So for me, Social media is not a joke, it is a place where I have the privilege and responsibility to share what the father has laid in my heart.

Sometimes my chest almost feels like bursting with the intensity of feeling whether it be love, joy, gratitude or concern for another and as I write it is channeled into every Word that I write, he takes my hand and guides every construction, I hear I write and he pours out more and more..

So much more to write in the days to come and I look forward to sharing with you from the father's heart to mine on a larger scale... It's time to write like never before..

Be the best of you!

 

You've got to have a determination that says no matter what it takes, no matter what has been, I'm gonna be the best of me. Plough through the challenges, the mistakes along the way, pick yourself up, keep your head up and maintain your gaze. He believes in you because he knows what he has invested in you. You are well and able, you will get there, yes it's a journey, but remember where you are headed, remember that you are necessary and for the sake of the world around you, you must of necessity triumph. You must do whatever it takes to bring out all the treasures within you. There is excellence in you, there is productivity in you, you are pregnant with purpose and it's only a matter of time before you give birth. Keep pushing. Be encouraged you are able.

Love always

 

Start today!

Sometimes the gravity of the change you want to see can put you off from starting. You look at the big picture and recognise the substantial gap between where you are and where you want to be and allow it to intimidate you from making a start.

Do not fear starting, begin with a small commitment to the change. For example, maybe you have a huge fitness transformation that you want to see, so you could start with a short 30 minute workout daily, yes it may not in the long run be enough to produce the final picture you desire but remember, starting with a small commitment to your dream is laying the foundation for the larger commitments you will eventually make.

You need to start somewhere knowing that you will increase and grow from there. Start with a commitment that is so easy to make that you can easily be consistent with it, give yourself time, allow that one to become a habit, then step up your game, move to the next level and keep growing from there.

This goes for anything, don't wait until you have it all together, start today, start small, knowing that you are simply laying foundations and that piece by piece the big vision will be accomplished.

Maybe it's your prayer life, maybe you desire to be spending hours in prayer daily but there are days that pass by that you haven't prayed at all. You resolve that from today every day I'll pray for 2 hours and then end up frustrated and feeling condemned when you don't even come close to it. Start with a small commitment maybe 15 minutes in the morning 15 in the evening, yes definitely you should spend more than that, but start somewhere and build from there.

Start today.

"Do not despise these small beginnings, for the LORD rejoices to see the work begin" Zechariah 4:10a